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Last WordsIn the beginning you never want to let her go,
and so you don't for a long, long time.
You commit to bobby pins underfoot, mismatched
plates stacked like landmines,
long hairs that circle and clog the drain, filling the tub
with stagnant water.
You tell her something that you love about her
each night before you fall asleep,
until one day you look at her and realize that you
don't know what to say anymore.
“I am not happy.”
You whisper this to yourself once and then try to say it louder,
but the words won't cooperate.
Maybe a whisper is as loud as this thought can exist,
or maybe some words weren't meant to be spoken aloud,
but you still think them, and yes,
you whisper them to yourself
when she isn't listening.
Perhaps this is what you should have been telling her
each night as her hands searched for you in the darkness.
This isn't happening, you think,
unless it is.
You wonder if you owe her something,
like your heart, maybe, your red hooded sweatshirt,
Margieoh Margie, Margie, Margie.
your name sounds like snow.
you remind me of oranges.
you're a Pollock
and i call you so.
why don't you call, Margie?
where have you gone?
i tried to keep in touch
but in the end i know
you're still home.
all the kids who were our friends,
they are just your friends.
we were all in the marching band
but fuck that, Margie, you know
yes you know how i feel about that.
i miss you,
and i barely even know you!
i wanted to see you
in the summer
in your attic
where we'd wear sweaty clothes
and move boxes by droves
and find books,
that all stank of cloves,
and we'd joke,
and imitate the sweet little voice
of the lady who once lived in your house.
she left her books in your attic
and i wonder if you've gone through them,
or maybe your father burned them.
and you said
you'd be getting a job?
that was the last i'd heard from you.
if you wanted to,
i'd open a parlor for you!
a dance hall with burgers
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Astralseed has firmly routed herself at the heart of our community. In particular, Katy's efforts with groups such as Traditionalists, Digitalists, Unique-Equines and CRCommunityProjects to name a few are evident of her outstanding commitment and dedication. In addition, Astralseed can always be found on our chat network and throughout our forum. Katy has been promoting unseen artists via her ProjectPorkchop articles and group. We think her contributions to the site are long overdue recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for July 2014 to Astralseed. Read More